Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Bloom So Soon



The pain you've caused me
Is second
Only to the pain
I cause myself.

Keeping my head down.

Creating inhibitions cause it
Seems proper
Or hiding from people because it seems 
Like I ought to.

Committing to a plan or person
Cause I'm afraid to be
Alone or afraid to be
Wrong or
Empty
Even if it doesn't make me
Happy.

I nit-pick
About risks
And what could every other person in this room think of me?
Everything I do is a symbol of
Autonomy, identity-
Looking for an enemy...

So sometimes I just sit at
Home alone or
Grab on to someone who 
Seems comfortable
Or is pretending to be-
Just like me.

But you helped me set me free. 
You planted a seed. 
And yeah, I've got to water it
And get it some
Vitamin D
And that's not easy,
But it's something I can do
And if it weren't for you,
I wouldn't have been able to 
Bloom 
So soon-
So thank you, 
My highly logical,
Oddly extroverted and
Compassionate 
Friend.

You helped me to mend
The wounds.
Not only the ones
From you,
But the ones that existed before:
That I continue to open
Again and
Again. 


2 comments:

  1. That's a beautiful poem. Strong yet beautiful reality about life

    ReplyDelete
  2. This one I wrote in January after an ex boyfriend was helping me work through some of my anxiety.

    ReplyDelete